I thought i could be happier after 2 aug but didn’t expected things just happened. I really really did mail to you the template of the report and the report itself that bong did half way through but i fucking don’t get it why u could receive the template but not the report when i mailed it to you at the same time. Even if you never receive, shouldn’t you do the report?! Alright, it’s not the time that pushing the blame around now. I should have done the report all by me as i did mentioned before I don’t want bong felt so stress, i should share the burden with him. But it seems like everything was too late. I was fucking pissed off too when they don’t allowed us to hand in our FYP and that fucking advisor didn’t pick up my call. It’s the first ever I missed called a person 40 times yet I didn’t get a reply back. I don’t what should i say or do but i know that i have to calm myself down as things already happened.
I didn’t know that you hate your life so fucking much... Have to handle studies, FYP, UT, working and “me”. I didn’t know that I add on to your burden, I didn’t know that I had made you that stress. If you want your life back, I give it back to you. I don’t know how should I feel now, mixture of feeling make me feel like giving up and cry. I never wanted to be someone burden. I never even know that you don’t have time for your friends. And i damn fucking sorry that for the whole FYP project i only contribute the register/login, all the validations and dealing with that fucking insurances/investments, I should have contribute more. I know that you’re not good in coding not good in SAD that apply to me also, I shouldn’t have let u done all this by yourself. I’m really really sorry.
I really don’t know when you become the one that could affect my mood and affect my life so easily. A word you said, the actions you done could simply affect me. I’m learning to be a good girlfriend control my fucking temper, and it’s my turn to tell you, I don’t need you to be my good boyfriend because I want to learn to be your good girlfriend. But it seems like i had failed this task. I don’t know how should i love you or done in a better way to improve our relationship but i realised eveytime you’re the one that choose to give up. It’s the first time i want to protect this relationship hoping there’s a something in between us and really hope that this relationship will really last but it seems like all this is my wishful thinking. I also didn’t know when sometimes i do really mad at you for the awful words you’ve said but remembering the sweet time we have, I want to go back to you. I really missed you when you’re not around, I missed your text when you ignored me I missed looking at you even a moment you left me. Everyday i wake up, I just thought of you and even how annoying you snoring was, I also want to sleep beside you. I have lots of lots of words to tell you how i feel but sometime i don’t even know how to open my mouth when i be with you. Do what you like what you want to be, I don’t want to be interfere you anymore. As long as you’re happy, I’m fine with it. Maybe return to you your life you wanted is your choice.
I will contact the fucking advisor and handed in our FYP. Perhaps this is the last thing i could do for you.